My kids are 6 and 9. We eat fast food too often, so this summer, I want to help them eat better. My goal is to have fewer fights over food and good lunchbox ideas for school. How can we make this a fun learning experience?

This is a perfect summer project, says Emily Ziedman, a Seattle-based certified nutritionist who introduces children in area schools to nutritious foods and healthy choices through a Flagship Foundation program (a nonprofit that “inspires and empowers children to make smart, healthy eating choices”).

“My teaching is influenced by nutritionist Ellyn Satter’s pioneering work,” she says. “It emphasizes competency, rather than deficiency, providing rather than depriving, and trust rather than control.”

Ziedman helps children understand that parents are in charge of the “what, where and when” of the food we eat. “It’s a parent’s job to prepare food, provide regular meals and snacks, and so on,” she says. “Children control ‘whether’ and ‘how much.’ The best way to educate children is to involve and empower them in family food choices.”

Ziedman offers several good ways to do that.

– One, take them food shopping. At the farmers market or produce aisle, invite them to choose fruits and vegetables they want to try. Or, ask them to select items for you, suggests Ziedman: “‘Can you find me a good tomato?’ Once chosen, there’s a bit of pride of ownership.”

– Two, involve them in food preparation. “Even if too young to peel or slice, they can wash and dry fruits and vegetables, shred lettuce, stir ingredients and so on,” says Ziedman.

– Three, teach them about food labels. “The longer the list of ingredients, the more processed and less healthy the food,” says Ziedman. “Children can count the ingredients, even if they can’t read them.

“Examine two different packages of a similar food. For example, an occasional treat might be a bag of chips. Show them how to compare a bag with 10 to 20 ingredients with one with four or five ingredients and fewer fat calories. Discuss why they may choose the one with the shorter list.”

– Four, make simple recipes together. “Vegetarian chili is a great one — it’s easy, balanced and introduces children to a range of textures and tastes,” says Ziedman. “Search for versatile recipes to make on Saturday and store for the week ahead. Create a family cookbook of favorites.”

Meri Raffetto, a registered dietitian and co-author of the Mediterranean Diet Cookbook For Dummies (Wiley 2013), tells parents to keep newly discovered foods front and center.

I teach in a district making budget cuts. We are trying to keep our middle school guidance counselor. She is really good, but never toots her own horn. Our school has 550 students! Can you help us make a case for her?

With that student-to-counselor ratio, members of your district should be doing everything they can to keep her happy. One counselor for every 250 students is the recommended ratio.

First, make sure everyone knows exactly what your school counselor does. As a teacher, you know she’s critical, but too many folks have an outdated notion of the role.

“Today’s counselors offer much more than the ‘guidance’ of (our) grandmothers’ day. They provide a broad range of services and skills,” says Darcie Jones, Program Assistant for Counseling at Oregon’s Salem-Keizer Public Schools.

In response to burgeoning student needs, the American School Counselor Association (ASCA) redefined the profession in 2004. ASCA publishes standards that describe the many facets of a licensed professional school counselor. There are national and state standards, too. (Go to schoolcounselor.org and your State Education Department website.)

“A licensed professional school counselor is a skilled advocate uniquely trained to understand the social, emotional, interpersonal, academic and career skills necessary for kids to stay engaged in school,” says Jones. “As community resources dwindle, the counselor often functions as the architect of structural supports a student needs to succeed.”

A school counselor is a collaborative school team member, says Jones: “A big-picture thinker who can partner with the entire school staff, parents and outside resources to address issues that may affect student outcomes. As instruction becomes more data-driven, school counselors help collect and interpret data to make sure students aren’t falling through the cracks.”

Middle school counselors have an especially critical role as students transition from childhood to adolescence, says Jones: “They teach coping strategies and ways to understand oneself, navigate peer relationships and develop effective social skills. They provide academic support such as goal-setting, decision-making and teach organizational, study and test-taking skills.

“They provide responsive supports such as individual and small group counseling, referrals to remediation to make up for lost learning, and individual, family and school crisis intervention.”
Research shows that comprehensive counseling programs boost student success. Students at schools with such programs do better on standardized tests and are more likely to go on to higher education.

Studies also show that students who feel valued and safe in their school — a key goal of a comprehensive school-counseling program — are more likely to perform well in all academic areas.

“Because they have a broad perspective, many school counselors have an important impact on maintaining a positive school climate,” notes Jones.

With more children slipping into poverty each year, Jones says that “school counselors are more involved than ever in garnering basic resources children and families need such as food, clothing, dental and medical care and adequate shelter.”

But perhaps the best way to keep your school counselor is to have the budget cutters shadow her for a day. While she attends to confidential matters, they can sit in the hallway and catch their breath!

I heard an interview with an author who says character is more important than IQ in school success. I have zero time to read but I like his idea. Are there character-building tips that will work with one bratty teen?

Chances are you heard author, Paul Tough, whose new book, How Children Succeed: Grit, Curiosity, and the Hidden Power of Character (Houghton Mifflin, 2012) has teachers and parents buzzing. It showcases the work of scientists who have identified skills they believe are crucial to success, such as persistence, curiosity, conscientiousness, optimism, gratitude, and self-control. Neuroscientists call these executive functions, says Tough. “The rest of us often sum them up with the word ‘character’.”

There is no quick cure for brattiness but you can shape your teen’s character over time through daily experiences that reflect and reinforce a family’s values, says Stephen Wallace, school psychologist and director of the Center for Adolescent Research and Education at Susquehanna University. “Make this a family project over the holidays to Identify and discuss values and character traits that you’d like to practice. Don’t think kids will balk at this. Research shows that they want to have these talks, much more than parents know!”

Create a family guide or rule book — give it a great title and cover. Credit the family member whose ideas are reflected in each entry.  Insert inspiring quotes from thinkers that relate to specific character traits.

For example, do you want your children to be more respectful of others? Wallace suggests a family rule: Leave every place neater than you found it. “This has an astounding impact on bathrooms, kitchens, and dens!”

Would you like them to be more appreciative? Practice thanking folks for everyday actions: the movie usher as you enter the theater, the bus driver as you exit the bus. Gratitude leads to an optimistic outlook.

Want kids to be more punctual? Consider Wallace’s own personal rule, “Early is on time, on time is late, and late is unacceptable.

Is one of your kids a perfectionist, afraid to take chances? Consider an entry that says mistakes are OK: “Sometimes failure helps us succeed.”

One value children love to discuss is, “Do the right thing even when no one is watching,” says Wallace. “It goes to the heart of character. It gets them to demonstrate whether they are serious about values they profess to hold.”

“ ‘Be kind to those who love you’ is a great rule for families,” says Wallace. “Write it on sticky notes to remind everyone that it’s important to nurture our relationships!”

Many families are taking the dinner hour to build relationships and reinforce desired character traits, says Wallace. “A University of Minnesota study shows positive social and academic effects on kids when families carve out mealtime together.” For more information go http://thefamilydinnerproject.org.

Exploring and defining your family’s values is a wonderful a gift to give each other over the holidays, says Wallace. “What better way to write family New Year’s resolutions?”

Our 12-year-old daughter’s friends say their parents let them lie about their age to get Facebook accounts. We don’t think our daughter is mature enough for Facebook. Are there places online where kids can share their lives and interests with friends?

Although Facebook’s privacy policy requires all members to be 13, a June 2012 Consumer Reports study indicates that approximately 5.6 million of Facebook’s members are younger than 13.

Nonprofit media watchdog Common Sense Media urges parents to be proactive in educating tweens and teens about Facebook because the digital footprint they create will live a long time. The organization’s “Tips for talking to teens about Facebook” lists topics to cover and rules to observe — from setting privacy controls to encouraging teens to minimize how much personal information they share. (Visit commonsensemedia.org/sites/default/files/facebook-tip.pdf.)

There are several tween platforms available — YourSphere, KidzVuz, Fooz Kids, Ohanarama, giantHello, Everloop and Rocket21 — and more emerging. (For ratings and descriptions, go to commonsensemedia.org.)

Media entrepreneur (and father) Mark Grayson says the main challenges for parents are educating their children about social media and monitoring their kids’ online activities — on a platform that enables tweens to experience the promise of the Internet, such as connecting users with mentors, while mitigating its risks.

“The web offers great promise for allowing kids to learn from the world’s most interesting people,” he says. “We created Rocket21.com to put kids in touch with professionals who can guide their interests and get them dreaming.

“Think LinkedIn plus Quora plus Twitter for kids. We offer ‘dream big’ experiences, such as going to the Grammys, visiting Kennedy Space Center, Charlotte Motor Speedway, Yellowstone Park and Ted Turner’s Flying D Ranch.”

The site is influenced by the research of Dr. Danah Boyd, a senior researcher at Microsoft and a fellow at the Berkman Center for Internet and Society at Harvard.

“Boyd believes shielding tweens from the Internet isn’t the answer,” says Grayson. “She challenges adults to provide social media platforms that safely allow kids to explore their interests with friends and connect with adult mentors. These mentors can be critically influential sources of inspiration to kids during an important period of identity formation.”

Rocket21 takes kids behind the scenes of events and operations they may be passionate about (i.e., What’s it like to work in professional auto racing? What questions would you ask an oceanographer? What does it take to win a Grammy?).

“We are a place where kids can hang out with peers who have similar passions and meet mentors who can encourage their dreams,” says Grayson.

Rocket21 runs regular competitions. The winner of the current competition will travel to the world’s largest aquarium in Atlanta and have a chance to meet former President Jimmy Carter, British entrepreneur Richard Branson and environmentalist and CNN founder Ted Turner.

The site has tested its privacy and safety technologies and procedures for more than two years. “We’re proving that there can be a safe place for kids to exploit the strengths of social media and learn personal responsibility on the Web,” says Grayson.

Membership is free. For more information, go to rocket21.com.

(Do you have a question about your child’s education? Email it to Leanna@aplusadvice.com. Leanna Landsmann is an education writer who began her career as a classroom teacher. She has served on education commissions, visited classrooms in 49 states to observe best practices, and founded Principal for a Day in New York City.)